


Four weeks, two days, and four apologies

by Gothichic



Series: The wonderful world of Tsukishima Kei trying his best [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji is a Good Significant Other, Angst, Autistic Tsukishima Kei, Bokuto Koutarou is a Good Significant Other, Break Up Talk, Fights, Hurt/Comfort, I try, Kuroo Tetsurou is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, barely lmao, may be ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 21:40:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30095499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gothichic/pseuds/Gothichic
Summary: Kuroo can't communicate and Tsukishima can't change over night.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Series: The wonderful world of Tsukishima Kei trying his best [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2195283
Kudos: 62





	Four weeks, two days, and four apologies

**Author's Note:**

> this may be ooc
> 
> self harm warning plz be careful

ttsuk: you knew what you signed up for and I'm done having this conversation 

kurooo: running away again what a surprise

Tsukishima was honestly pissed but besides that he was just sad. Having relationships as an Autistic person was difficult, especially with three other people. All he ever wanted to do was fit in and then he had found his little Tokyo trio and he found that. He felt so good hanging out with them, he could finally hang out with people without constantly being reminded of his Autism, reminded that _he was different_. Every good thing must come to an end because now he was almost constantly being reminded that. Reminded that he could communicate well, or make eye contact, or stand touch or be comforted. He had three very loving boyfriends but he hated being comforted, being loved on, being touched. He hated having to maintain relationships, hated having people dote on him, and if you would've asked him two years ago he would've told you he didn't want a relationship at all. He still wondered if he wanted a relationship. He loved his boyfriends, he would do anything for them, and he's changed a lot for them. Relationships were just _so_ much work, and he was tired and stretched so thin and he wanted to just let go of having to worry about someone else. 

three weeks. 

None of them talked for three weeks. Well none of them talked to Tsukishima for three weeks, not Bokuto or Akaashi and certainly not Kuroo. It was hell. His own personal hell. He wanted to apologize, wanted to yell about how he was wrong and how he was sorry and how he just wanted them to talk to him again. 

He didn't. 

Another week passes and he's going to combust. Is this a break up? Is this fixable? Would they all leave Tsukishima behind specifically? How would he ever fix this? Tsukishima wanted to throw something but he couldn't so he did the next best thing— scratching his arms till they bleed. He scratched up and down and up and down and up and down. His arms burned, his wrists felt itchy, god he wanted to cut them, to run something sharp against them. He felt so frustrated, Thank god for his sharp nails and his- _bzzt_

His phone was vibrating. 

It was a call. 

A call from Akaashi. 

Does he answer it? God he wouldn't be able to talk. What does he say? Does he apologize? Is Akaashi calling to apologize? 

With shaky hands he answers it. 

"Tsukishima?" 

Oh god he couldn't talk. He didn't want to talk. He had tears streaking down his face, snot was dripping down his chin, he was breathing pretty heavily, and his arms fucking _hurt_.

"Baby are you crying?" 

Tsukishima sobbed. God he missed his voice. "Tsukishima calm down-" Tsukishima only got louder, oh god- he couldn't breathe, he could breathe oh god oh god-

"Breathe!" 

He took a deep gasp. He heard the phone beep. Akaashi had hung up. Tsukishima sobbed harder, he gagged, oh god he was going to throw up. Everything after that moment was a blur. He remembers heaving on the floor and then he remembers he brother coming in and then nothing.

__________________________________

  
  


Akaashi was going to fucking murder Kuroo. Seriously what the fuck was he thinking? He gets being frustrated with Tsukishima, it was a relationship, they were going to getting angry at each other but fuck Kuroo was just out of line. 

"I just want him to show he cares more!" Akaashi could choke Kuroo out right now. 

"You don't understand he was sobbing over the phone!" Kuroo winced. "You didn't have to ignore him. Mr. I'm-so-mature." Akaashi was truly shaken up to be honest. Tsukishima has never cried in front of him. Not ever. "I had to call his brother Kuroo."

"You ignored him to!" Kuroo pointed out. "I was under the impression you guys were going to work it out." Kuroo looked at him with the most frustrating smile he's ever seen, like this was some gotcha moment, like this wasn't a very serious moment, like he wasn't breaking Tsukishima apart— that _they_ were breaking him apart. 

"You guys need to talk."

Kuroo went to open his mouth before being promptly cut off. "He's right bro." 

"Oh so I'm the bad guy here?" He said in a mocking tone. Akaashi could rip his throat out. "No! You just need to-" He couldn't do this right now, he couldn't look at him. "I'm going." 

Kuroo barked out a laugh.

"Running away? Sounds like someone-" 

"Shut up!" Akaashi slammed his hands down on the table. Akaashi rarely ever got angry, he didn't yell, huff, or hit things but fuck was Kuroo testing him. Where in the world was the coming from? Did Kuroo suddenly resent Tsukishima now? Tsukishima hasn't done anything!

"Guys-" 

Akasshi whipped his head to glare at Bokuto, effectively shutting him up. "Hey don't take this on him! Bo what were you going to say?" Bokuto's eyes went back and forth to Akaashi and Kuroo. He opened his mouth looking very conflicted. "What was it Bokuto?" 

He still looked apprehensive even with Akaashis go ahead. 

"What's wrong?" 

They both looked at him like he had a second head. "What?" 

"I mean, Kuroo what's the problem specifically?" Kuroo eyebrows pinched together. "I know you don't hate Tsukishima, What's got you like this?" 

Akaashi never thought he'd live to see the day where Bokuto is the voice of reason. He looked back at Kuroo, his eyes were wet. Akasshi wanted nothing more than to hug him, wipe his tears, tell him it was alright. 

It wasn't. He didn't. 

"I-" He looked towards the ground. "I just wish he would tell us how he's feeling." He sighed. "Sometimes I think he doesn't like this relationship." 

Akaashi felt anger flair through him. That was it! That's what Kuroo was dealing with? He caused this entire thing for something like that? Akaashi almost screamed at him. 

"You thought the best way to communicate that was- was- telling him he didn't care enough?" His voice bordered on seething. Kuroos face was falling apart. "You act as if I'm the only one who didn't talk to him!" Bokuto flinched. He was right, there was truly no reason for him or Akaashi to stop talking to Tsukishima. That was definitely a mistake on their part.

"Guys-" Akaashi about yelled over Bokuto. 

"Excuse me! I was waiting until you guys made up." 

Bokuto tried again. 

Kuroo rolled his eyes. "Oh and your-" Akaashi started talking over him. "All you think of- 

"Guys!" 

They both jumped. 

"We should deal with this- _with_ Tsukishima don't you think?" 

__________________________________

In two days Tsukishima was going to get broken up with. Why else would they all be coming to see him? He's been doing nothing but crying all week. He was unsure if he wanted a relationship but fuck he didn't want to lose them. They were his friends, the only people Tsukishima has ever let in besides Yamaguchi and now he was losing them. He didn't understand relationships. 

He didn't understand anything. 

Maybe if Tsukishima swallowed down the years of shame and finally acted like someone people wanted to be around, this wouldn't be happening. Tsukishima thinks about his childhood sometimes. Think about what his life would be like if he would've been outgoing, if he would've been nicer, if he would've been born differently. 

He can't change overnight. 

They'd be better off without anyways. 

The two days pass like seconds, and suddenly he's sitting outside his house looking up at the stars next to Kuroo who he's certain is about to break his heart. How cruel. Looking at stars before breaking up with him. Akaashi and Bokuro were on the other side of the door. 

"Are we going to break up?" He whispers. He could cry. 

"No." 

Tsukishimas throat hurt from holding back the tears. They sit in silence for longer. He had no idea what to do, I mean what do they even talk about. 

"Sometimes...." He pauses, glancing at Tsukishima. "Sometimes I think you don't want to be in this relationship at all." Tsukishima sighs. He didn't understand relationships, not really, but he knew he loves them, that he loves Kuroo.

"I don't understand relationships," he starts, Kuroos shoulders go down. "I don't understand them, and I don't get how to manage them but-" He tears up again. "But I-" He swallows. Kuroos looking at him with wet eyes. Tsukishima looks away. 

"I-I'm really grateful for you and-" His throat aches. "I'm sorry Tetsu." The tears are coming anyways and he wishes he could sob. 

"I'm sorry too." Kuroo scoots closer to him. "I shouldn't have ignored you." He puts his hand on Tsukishimas shoulder. "I should've talked to you like an adult about it'' Theres a puase between them and Kuroo doesn't breathe for a second. He scared hes truly fucked this up and then- Tsukishima tackles him in a hug. Kuroo falls down with a huff, face full of shock. Tsukishimas hands are laying on his chest, he looks pissed. 

"Never ignore me again!" He hops up stomping to the door, slamming it open. "That goes for you too!" Bokuto falls in front of Tsukishimas feet, obviously having tried to get a better listen by putting his ear up to the door. All three of them are shocked. They've never heard him yell in the entirety of their relationship.

"You hear me!" Akaashi flinches as Bokuto scrambles to get up. Tsukishima whips his head around to glare at Kuroo. "Never again. 

"I'm sorry moonshine." 

Tsukishima whips his head back to glare at Akaashi and Bokuto. "I'm also sorry." Bokuto is nodding his head off. "Very sorry babe!" 

"You're all idiots." His eyes are all red and puffy. He sniffles once, then twice, before he drops to his knees and wraps his arms around Bokuto who is more than happy to hug him. 

They all end up on the couch, watching some made for T.V movie and Tsukishima thinks about how none of this was worth the damage and how difficult a relationship truly was. Maybe this is what one was.

Maybe he enjoyed watching that shitty movie with his boyfriends entirely too much.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> mmmmmmmmmm fun times with gothic
> 
> the next work will not be angst T_T enough sadness and bitterness. Tsukishima deserves happiness!!!! also yall ever notice how tsukkis bangs in the anime fucking change every episode I'm gonna go feral it's so annoying


End file.
